We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Boobs speak an international language.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
