I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
