who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
