I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Pooping to opera.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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