Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
