I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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