Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
