I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I am midnight drunk by noon
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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