I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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