I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
