My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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