Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
