i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
