I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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