i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
