...so i touched it.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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