well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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