Already got asked if we're dating
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
