If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
