Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
