All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I smell stomach acid.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
