Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(323): View more from California

I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.

Fav 6 1679 774
share tweet
(201): View more from New Jersey

Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?

Fav 31 1097 2541
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(919): View more from North Carolina

Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.

Fav 120 1026 20242
share tweet
(561): View more from Florida

i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.

Fav 43 1466 5475
share tweet
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(970): View more from Colorado

And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out

Fav 12 6498 1426
share tweet
(970): View more from Colorado

At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name

Fav 12 4100 1424
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(816): View more from Missouri

I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?

(1-816): View more from Missouri

Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.

Fav 9 3544 1249
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(763): View more from Minnesota

I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.

(651): View more from Minnesota

You are a terrible person.

(763): View more from Minnesota

I just try to be optimistic...

Fav 5 1578 784
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(250): View more from British Columbia

Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered

Fav 1 134 87
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT