I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Deaf chicks here I come
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.