I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
This is classic penis vs brain.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered