Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it? (1-440): because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even? http://tfl.nu/6ni1
  Replies (20) Good night (5485) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (559): my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding http://tfl.nu/co4h
  Replies (13) Good night (5740) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight. http://tfl.nu/uwp5
  Replies (24) Good night (3732) Bad night (1187)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  How am I a tease?

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.

  (813): View more from Florida

  ONLY PART OF IT.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): How am I a tease? (1-813): Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away. (813): ONLY PART OF IT. http://tfl.nu/b7xa
  Replies (45) Good night (8577) Bad night (1780)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high. http://tfl.nu/zw5l
  Replies (31) Good night (8151) Bad night (1347)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told... http://tfl.nu/tfwr
  Replies (6) Good night (2607) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink. http://tfl.nu/2o9s
  Replies (4) Good night (1296) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup http://tfl.nu/4mdx
  Replies (6) Good night (1143) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off. http://tfl.nu/dyhi
  Replies (2) Good night (1168) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole. http://tfl.nu/xl47
  Replies (11) Good night (724) Bad night (2238)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case? http://tfl.nu/t5hu
  Replies (4) Good night (844) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka http://tfl.nu/yw8u
  Replies (1) Good night (676) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  How high are you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes. (1-405): How high are you? http://tfl.nu/bptv
  Replies (4) Good night (677) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage http://tfl.nu/24ub
  Replies (3) Good night (368) Bad night (828)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock http://tfl.nu/7pjf
  Replies (1) Good night (556) Bad night (341)

Randomize