I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
