at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
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The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
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we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.