Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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