I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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