I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She bit a glass in half.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
