I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
two words...techno handjob
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
