It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Randomize
