There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
