He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Dear god my vagina.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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