why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
