my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
