i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
