As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
