can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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