Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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