If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
