Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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