not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
