I molested 6 butterflies tonight
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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