Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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