I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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