I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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