Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
