Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  She is totally STD

  (941): View more from Florida

  Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD

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  (941): She is totally STD (941): Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD http://tfl.nu/ruv5
  Replies (52) Good night (1226) Bad night (4237)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos

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  (804): just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos http://tfl.nu/9tfl
  Replies (14) Good night (6193) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows

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  (480): I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows http://tfl.nu/5bqe
  Replies (21) Good night (6197) Bad night (811)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  His pubic hair was longer than his dick

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  (636): His pubic hair was longer than his dick http://tfl.nu/f6nh
  Replies (69) Good night (1464) Bad night (27253)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed

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  (631): this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed http://tfl.nu/rgow
  Replies (19) Good night (5594) Bad night (1251)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.

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  (207): I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life. http://tfl.nu/g4gg
  Replies (35) Good night (2774) Bad night (3799)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.

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  (919): It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis. http://tfl.nu/c5pc
  Replies (9) Good night (1380) Bad night (3508)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.

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  (770): No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party. http://tfl.nu/c4s1
  Replies (9) Good night (3628) Bad night (792)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.

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  (417): In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D. http://tfl.nu/wwrb
  Replies (9) Good night (2890) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.

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  (484): pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you. http://tfl.nu/yyvw
  Replies (2) Good night (1731) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or

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  (303): ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or http://tfl.nu/vwgc
  Replies (21) Good night (1848) Bad night (966)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?

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  (+44): PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end? http://tfl.nu/1yv9
  Replies (4) Good night (1781) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (442): View more from California

  Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.

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  (442): Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always. http://tfl.nu/0ay8
  Replies (5) Good night (628) Bad night (1355)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...

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  (206): you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night... http://tfl.nu/tmlo
  Replies (3) Good night (724) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.

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  (501): His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him. http://tfl.nu/o5lz
  Replies (15) Good night (1515) Bad night (426)

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