I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
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It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
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At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.