So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have