Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize