so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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