I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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