she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
