Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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