That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
