I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
