My room smells like vodka and shame
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
