from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
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Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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