I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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