i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.