Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
