Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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