Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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