So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize