I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
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Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
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The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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