C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
