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omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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