glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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