he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize