I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
